(Depressing trigger warning)

I’ve never wanted to die more,

I’ve never wanted to cry more.

For all my mistakes,

For all I’ve done,

This was number one.

It’s all my fault

It’s all my fault,

It’s all my fault.

What if it stopped

If time stopped

If the story stopped

If the memories stopped

If life stopped.

What if…

Does It?

It doesn’t.

It never stops.

Not the laughter,

Nor the memories of that laughter,

The smiles that were once held,

And that were once lost.

Time never stops

Life never stops

The story never stops.

Than why do we stop…

What is really stoping?

Nothing is stoping.

Not time

Not life

Nor even death.

For we are always,

For always will it stay.

And always can you stay,

Always will the fact of new life stay.

Always will a blossom live and die,

But it will never end.

It will never stop.

Not even if we try.

For it’s life creates a new,

And that life never stops.

It is endless,

Timeless…

It is a story,

It is a song sung by the birds in the trees.

It is eternal.

IT is you…

And me…

And all of us.

For we are forever.

I may be hurting,

I may be scared,

I may be weak,

I may be cold.

But that is no excuse!

I am strong!

I am the one who shapes my soul!

I am my own freedom!

So even if you’re trapped,

Even when you’re hurt,

Even when you’re scared.

You’re not weak,

You’re not in the dark,

We are not alone.

2nd realm

Chapter 1

A Dream

April sat at her desk, fidgeting in her seat as her turn to present approached. She had been preparing for this presentation for 2 months now. If she messes up this presentation she won’t be able to graduate highschool.

Continually,  the details of her presentation ran through her head over and over. She was so deep in thought that she barely noticed Mrs. Harris calling on her.     

This is it, all of my hard work, and my very future in the hands of my actions at this moment. Nothing can stop me, it’s too worth it.

At that moment a piercing pain shot from her left hand, penetrating every point in her body. Freezing all of her limbs in place. Tightening her muscles as if to crush her bone. The inside of her hand wanting to vibrate free from her skin. 

April stiffly looked down at herself, to see if anything had happened. But to her disappointment, not a single thing looked wrong.

Must… finish… presentation!

April stood up from her seat, straight faced. Then walked to the front of the classroom. Just before she reached the front of the room, what felt like a blade, dug into the flesh of her hand. 

Breath, ca… calm down, you can make it.

But that wasn’t enough to convince her body to seise it’s pain.

Mrs. Harris seemed to notice something was a little off, despite April’s efforts. April turned around to face the class, preparing for her presentation. That’s when she realized it wasn’t just her teacher who was looking very curiously at April. The whole class joined her in a concerned stare.

    She started to speak, trying to ignore the pain. Also ignoring the distracting stares from the other kids in the class. Doubting the reality of any of this. But before she could speak any further, Mrs. Harris asked almost trembling at this point, ”April?” pausing as she cleared her throat. “ Are you alright, you seem to be in a lot of pain.”

    “What do you mean, Mrs. Harr…is” ,she croaked, trying to resist the urge to cry out in pain.

    “Your hand is…” she said gesturing to April’s left hand.

April looked down to see her hand was having a “high speed seizure”. Making her hand seem invisible.

What the h… 

She dropped to the floor. Pain firing off like a cannon in every part of her body. Her eyes slowly fading into darkness.

April awoke to find herself in a hospital room. All pain from her previous memory, gone. After an hour of sitting in the hospital bed, a nurse finally noticed April was awake. Who then left to get the doctor. He came in and let her know she would have to stay the night to get some proper and needed rest. But she would be ready to go in the morning. Before the doctor had the chance, April quickly asked,“Doctor, do you know what happened to me at school?”

“Oh, just a simple case of over stress.” he said as he walked out the door.”

Even I know that was no simple case of over stress. That was something else… something maybe even dangerous.

To no avail, April tried to fall asleep. But after what had happened to her in the past 24 hours, who would. Eventually her mind drifted off into the space between being awake and being in a dream. April sunk into the endless void that lay below her mind, emersed into darkness.

Wake Up!

April looked around and found that she wasn’t in a hospital bed. Her feet were soaked to the bone in wet moss that covered the floor of a dark forest. Trees in every direction she turned. The large heavy branches pressing down on her chest, making it hard to breath. 

Where am I

She started running, trying to find a way out. But there was nothing to be found. no matter where she turned there was always more forest. More darkness. Out of breath April decided to stop. She propped herself up against the trunk of a fungus covered tree, not allowing herself to sit down. She needed to be ready for anything. 

That’s when she saw a pair of black eyes, floating in the darkness. They had a slight glow to them, as if they were black holes producing the once destroyed light. 

Not daring to blink she started creeping backward. Inching across the ground, trying not to alarm the creature that was watching her. But before she even took her third step, she found herself laying on the ground, and a silver fox next to her. 

So this is the creature that was watching me from the depths of these woods.

 Upon the crest of its forehead lay three overlapped circles. Forming a trinity circle. It lowered it’s head down to April’s left hand, almost signifying friendship. April slowly reached up and placed her hand upon the fox’s head. Creating a slight painful tingle within it, similar to the one she felt in her classroom. April immediately closed her eyes.

WAKE UP!

April’s eyes opened, returning her to the hospital bed. Even though she What April have returned to reality, she still felt the slightly painful tingle within her hand. Her eyes shot down to her hand to find a scar burned into her left hand. A Trinity Circle.

Why do we fascinate over a flower? Is it the fact that we long to see life, or it’s strength to endure through anything? Or to adapt to anything situation? We don’t know. But to me flowers seem to carry a second meaning. Whether it’s the peaceful and calming scent of Lavender. Or the vibrant glow of a Red Rose. Flowers provide a way to see life in a different way.

There was one day on a hike, I came across a field of wildflowers. Many bees hummed around the flowers creating a constant vibration in my ears. You could not only hear the bees humming, but a mass accumulation of living creatures, big and small, making their own sounds, filling the area with it’s own life. A life that no one could harm or even touch. This small field of flowers was a haven, a shelter to so many things. I realized that these flowers were the life and home to so many things. Especially to the bees, these flowers provided the very nectar, and care that they needed to survive.

After the sound I realized the beauty that lied in these flowers. There were yellow, red, orange, white flowers. Colors that brought the field to life. There were flowers that had their own very distinct colors, which didn’t really have a name. But all the the colors were warm and bright, bring comfort to all within sight. My eyes felt like they were being touched by their gentle and delicate pedals. Still holding the little droplets of water from the mornings dew. The sun had just risen, bringing about a bright and fluorescent display of color and shape.

But it wasn’t just the sight, or the sound of these living beauties. It was the smell that truly took my breath away, filling my mind and heart with joy. Igniting me with a vigore to conquer anything in my way. Every time I inhaled to supply my body with the air it needed, I got a little more; A blanket of comfort and peace was brought within be. A once cold and sore nose, from the mornings frost, was finally brought to rest by these kind flowers.

So no, maybe we don’t need flowers in our lives. But we do need what comes with them; Peace, Joy, Hope, and Love. So if a small little Red Rose, on your window sill, can give you the smallest piece of that. Than That Flower, has fulfilled its purpose.

The ground below, bellows in pain,

It’s hallowed ground disgraced and wounded.

The mossy floor envelopes the earth,

Protecting it from being hurt.

The trees cover up the bright sun,

Filling the living tunnels below with shadows of cold.

Every step taken in this empty and forsaken place,

Is cold and dark, filled with hate.

But compared to the wounds that lie underneath this hallowed ground,

The fear is nothing,

The hate is nothing,

The darkness is nothing.

Because to the plants that lived and once lived,

To the beasts that roamed and roam no more,

To the shadows that haunt but are lost,

There is no light, no life, no fear, no death.

For everything that is and was,

Every life that lived and loved,

Every heart that feared and wept,

These hallowed grounds are not to be kept.

As I write my mind away,

Searching for an answer.

I never seem to find it,

Lurking forever after.

Do I let the fire inside,

Keep pushing them out.

Or should I just sit a while,

Being a big pout.

No never should I hate,

No never should I spite.

For in my heart I find,

Something very bright.

Should I let another’s voice,

Control where I lye.

Or should I stand up and shout,

This is where I fly.

Up to the highest mountain,

Far to the open sky.

Never shall I let,

Another force on mine.

Why did I say goodbye,

Did I really let her go.

Was it all a dream,

That I would never know.

Could I have tried much harder,

Is there another way.

Or did I really love,

Which is the least I would say.

I did just let her go,

Knowing what it would bring.

I did not even hate her,

But I never truly loved.

No that can’t be right,

I did truly love her.

I may have let her slip away,

But I knew I’d always love her.

Just Wasn’t in that way…

A possible part one

This was the word that the little boy next to me at school continued to say. Sure there was a lightning storm, but that doesn’t mean you break down and start speaking gibberish. Ok honestly, I’m a little judgmental, but so what. I, as well as everyone else in this school has a social class to uphold. And I could tell that this kid had no social class, he was an outcast.

Lighting started flashing across the sky much brighter than before, the thunder followed milliseconds after the lightning strikes. It was getting closer, we seemed to almost be right under the storms core. Almost as if the kid nex…

Suddenly the lightning struck right next the the window of our class room! The thunder right in sink with the lightning. Also right in sink with the rising of the boy’s voice. The one who was still almost chanting those strange words. Something did not feel right, the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand on end. In fact, every strand of hair on every student’s head was standing on end. Making it appear as if the whole class room was flipped upside down.

There was no doubt about it, something was not right, and that kid probably had the biggest part in it. I don’t care about social class anymore, what is going on!? The face of every student in the classroom was filled with fear. The teacher, Ms. Morgan, tried calming us down. But it was no use, because even she was afraid. You could see it in her eyes… but… not a fear of horror, but a fear of failure.

The boy stood up and started shouting his strange words. Ms. Morgan’s fear turned into hate and blame. She started yelling at the boy, “Stop, You don’t know what you’re doing!” He didn’t stop, in fact he started chanting louder and louder, Tadda Dodo, Tadda Dodo! Until his voice was at a shrill scream. Than he was at a scream, the bullet proof windows shattered by the wind. A vortex of air and dirt surrounded him. After his seemingly endless scream finally ended he looked Ms. Morgan in the eyes and yelled,”They will all now see, what you and all the others have done. Sure you think your trying to protect us, but you’re not! And you never truly will,” he then said almost mournfully.

The last thing I remember was lighting striking the boy. Than… darkness. I opened my eyes and found myself in the classroom with the other students, but no teachers. I looked out the broken window and saw a red skied wasteland. It was the same place, only darker, and lost. The boy than stood on his desk. “Don’t fear, for this is the real world. This is what those things,” meaning the teachers I believe.”-have diluted your sight. A sight of the dark place this really is, and how bright you really are. Prepare for the unexpected, because in the real world… that’s all you get.” He stepped down from the table and left the room.

Odd title isn’t it,”Breaking Light”, what does that even mean. Well I’ll tell you what it means. When rays of light are fractaled into millions of pieces, you see color. Color! The very essence of it is sweet, filling, and incomprehensible. Think of all the colors you can think of, then think of your favorite color. Every color has a meaning, every glimpse of the summer sunset, every blue sky, and glowing sea, everytime you look into the eyes of a loved one and see their soul portrayed through the lense of color, and depth of their mind.

Imagine being stuck in a dark cave with a small light. Barely bright enough to illuminate the way, but only bright enough to see the grey masses of rock and stone all around you. You feel trapped, the space around you is only big enough for you to crouch or crawl. The millions of tons of rock above your head continually pressing down on your mind, adding to the nausea you already feel. Crawling through the maze of tunnels, you desperately try to find a way out. After what feels like many hours you realize your light is starting to fade, and so is your body. You have no extra batteries, no extra food, if you don’t find a way out soon this is the end. You will never again see the light of day, never again feel the sun’s warmth.

As your light takes its final flicker and dies, you close your eyes preparing for what will be your final moment. Suddenly a little spark of hope blooms inside of you. Opening your eyes, you see a light at the end of the tunnel. Energy bursts inside of you, fueling your body with just enough energy to make it to the light. Arm over arm, you crawl as fast as you can… But it’s not enough. You start slowing down and stopping. The headache overcomes your body, and that little spark of hope fades away.

You feel your body start to slowly shut down, one part at a time. Yet your at peace, you feel no hate ,no fear just peace. In your mind you see a bright brilliant light, that illuminates your mind and soul. Every flower, sunrise, and blue bird you ever saw returns. Filling you with the color, Warm. There is no other way to describe it. The feeling of warmth and love, as if the sun’s rays are enfolding you in it’s arms. Every scent of flower gains hold upon you, piercing your heart, and searching within it every feeling ever felt. The colors fly past you, as you feel every emotion, and relive every moment connected to that color. This was more than peace, this was more than joy. It was love, for every color you saw showed love in some way. And every time you felt love, it brought you closer to home.